How to win the war and bring home the bacon (not Dave Bacon)

A colleague of mine who wishes to remain anonymous had the following suggestion for ending the war in Iraq.  The saddest part about it is that, as absurd as it sounds, it would almost certainly cost less than the current war and would probably work in the end.  His suggestion?  In every town in Iraq, develop a strip mall with your standards – ‘bucks, McD’s, BK, KFC, W/K-mart, etc. – and begin by making some local a franchise owner of each establishment.  Then, start by giving stuff away for free – food, flat-screen TVs, whatever, all paid for by the US government (think how many Big Macs you could buy with the money you might have spent on, say, a single Humvee).  Once everyone’s happy with their XBox’s, plasma-screens, and daily donuts, start slowly ramping up the prices on everything.  In a few years Iraq will be the new Arizona, it will have cost the American taxpayers less money, and corporate America will be lining its pockets with additional revenue.  As an added bonus, we can threaten Iran by telling them something like, “Hey, see how we made Iraq look just like Arizona?  You guys wanna become Nevada?  Or, if we’re really pissed, Louisiana?”

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One Response to “How to win the war and bring home the bacon (not Dave Bacon)”

  1. […] How to win the war and bring home the bacon (not Dave Bacon) […]

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